Friday, March 12, 2010

Gotta catch 'em all

Yeah, that's right - I just used a Pokemon reference in my blog title. In this case though, I'm referring to the loveable creatures known as "Forum Trolls" (FT). We've all seen them, and occasionally they grace our blogs with their presence. I for one welcome a good troll post, as it means that someone at least took a moment to post here - even if they didn't read or enjoy the content.

Today though I want to look at the different types of trolls, and maybe ask that they start identifying themselves through a signature line, or maybe a number in their name. After all, there are many different species of worms, and FTs should be recognized too.

Classifications of FTs

While some of these charactaristics may overlap, I think that these identifying trademarks should help you accurately identify your FT, and ulitimately "Catch them all".

The "I'm casual and mock you for spending too much time caring about a game"

A wonderful speciman of Troll, this one exhibits a lackluster approach to the game. When called out for having not achieved any type of end-game results (raids, high PvP, etc) they claim "it's only a game" and pity you for your obsession with it. One of the few specimens to generally post with their "main", they can be countered with standard FT measures - ignoring them, or just saying that "they're right". Logic fails on them, as they are bitter for not being able to accomplish anything in the end-game.

The "I'm better than you, but choose to remain anonymous"

One of the more common Trolls, this poster will claim achievments far and above anything you could hope to accomplish in game. You will however never be able to verify this, as they hide behind an alt. Often found saying "I don't need to post on my main, because you're just bad". Odds are good that they are still LFG for Scarlet Monestary.

The "I left this server, but I still come back because I LOL at you"

One of my favorite varieties, this Troll has left your server for greener ground and has possibly even managed to land somewhere successful. Their disdain for you and your server is so great that they still come back and troll your forums. Probably because everyone has them on ignore already on their new realm. Often posts on a low level alt so you can't see that they're actually in a guild that is farming content that is 3 patches old.

The "I quit playing so I don't care about WoW"

This person claims to have quit playing completely, and is only posting until their prepaid time runs out (usually five months, as they quit playing a month ago and their subscription auto-renewed). Will occasionally resurface as a transfer troll some time down the line.

The angry ex-guild member

This troll often disguises themselves in one of the other forms, but careful examination of their writing style and insider knowledge will reveal them as this specific sub-species. This type of troll is the easiest to defeat, as their own internal conflict at no longer being a member of the guild they are trolling.

This list is not all inclusive

I'm sure that this list has left out quite a few different types of trolls. I suppose one would be the main who just wants to be a troll (Reportmyname was one of the best). Fortunately you can generally defeat them by just ignoring them.

Here's hoping that the trolls never go away, because even if they don't contribute positively - at least you know they're reading.


  1. Hmm, could blogger trolls be added in here some where? A person who specifically makes a blog about WoW to make fun off players who they don't want to have a discussion with in game? Just a thought.

    Great post, I LOL'd while reading it.

  2. The only problem with including blogger trolls is that you have to actually make an effort to read them. A forum troll (or a troll who comments on a blog) is right there in your bidness. So yeah, you could count someone who makes a blog just to troll - but can you really complain if you go to his house and get bitten?


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