Oh man - where to start with this one. From the mundane to the insane - here we go.
1) I'm 1/2 an Ironman. 1.1 mi swim, 56 mi bike, and a 13.2 mi run. Hooah baby. Hooah.
2) I once (well, ok more than once) spent a large portion of my time jumping off high objects into questionable pools of water. Often while intoxicated. At night. Yeah, I wonder why I'm still here myself.
3) Despite #2, I'm terrified of hights - like, rediculously frightened. I get nervous on a step ladder. Don't ask me how I jumped off a bridge into the White Salmon river, just above some rapids, I'm not quite sure myself. I'm sure it had something to do with the fact that a) I thought the white water was generally boring (I was once thrown over the high side of a raft - and at 280lbs that was an impressive sight I'm sure) and b) at some point during the trip I had ripped the ass out of my wetsuit - so I spent the whole trip mooning everyone.
4) I used to ride in the rodeo. I never did bull riding, but I've covered more than one bareback horse, and I used to jump off a running horse onto a steer - just to wrestle him to the ground. I also did well in the wild cow milking.
5) I've lived above the Arcitc Circle.
6) I once took sixth place in the Arctic Circle Championship sled dog races. Yeah, there were only six people entered, but they paid out seven places - so I still made money.
7) I hate mystery citrus showing up in my food (you know this if you listened to the TNB while I was a guest). Nothing ruins a delicious dish faster than a cake fart, but strange orange showing up in my pecan pie is a close second.
8) I share a brain with Wombcrusher. I swear, I'm Ed Norton and he's Brad Pitt. The number of times we've had the same thought at the same moment...scary.
9) I have, on more than one occasion, been the only answer to the question of "Who drank an entire bottle of scotch/gin/whiskey/rum/etc".
10) I did inhale. I also have used a wide variety of hallucinogens, pain killers, and other mind/body altering drugs. While I can't condone their use (legally) - I do have some pretty crazy stories from those nights. Again this begs the question, how am I still alive?
I once took out a barracks window using 100mph tape, a Boones Farm bottle full of Red Man spit (mostly mine), and a half dozen MRE heaters.
BONUS FACT #2:
Often accused, held overnight, interrogated, and charged - but never convicted.
Next - My first blog post.